Monday, August 22, 2011

This Day is Marked

          This day marked the sharing of this very private blogsite to my public facebook account. But in a discreet manner. Those people who will browse my fb profile info, read and click a lot shall find this private page of mine, along with my other blogsite, twitter and youtube account. I did that not to really share this page but for ease accessibility since I use facebook a lot more than any of these sites. To go to my other sites, I just have to click on the link I posted on my fb info page.

I write in any of these private sites those stuffs I can't share in my public fb account, or else it will look like a fiesta of comments there from all the people i know in all walks of my life. There are people who can't relate and only get half of the story and would sometimes even interpret fb status in a very different way in anyway they like, limitless, it could be negative or positive. It's better to have one or more sites so I can't be so saturated in one account. And also, I don't want to hurt people directly in my Fb account by expressing everything in there. It's just nice to keep boundaries and keep the distance. If they are really interested, curious, have a lot of time reading and know computer a lot, and most of all, as mentioned earlier -interested, then that's the time they will read and visit my other sites. But I guess only a few or it could be that none of them would bother so I still can keep my privacy here. : )

   (I will quote Kris and Bimby's expression)  love love ko!.... : )

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

A Gift

I was very down last week that I didn't go to work for 4 straight days. I really felt like quitting my job and was even about to do it.. Aaallmmmoosssttt... I talked to our HR and told her about my situation but I wasn't yet sure. I just would like to express. She knew that I was not satisfied with my salary, I expressed that to her the other year, but salary is not the issue at all this time. I felt emptiness inside so I was thinking of looking for another environment, like going to Dubai (my brother is there), or applying for a new job of different field. I just want a way out immediately. But thank God, our HR is a very good person, a very generous and kind-hearted woman. She understands the feeling of the employees and not mock us down. She listens and suggest things in the right way.

So, I just let those days go through, being absent and not worry a lot of my job once and for all to give me complete rest and a break from everything I'm busy with. I was surprised, when I get to the job again by Monday, everything seemed so new to me. It felt like a new life again and my enthusiasm to my work comes back. Of course I still have the little worry of not being around for 4 straight days. But everything was just smooth for me and I just do my job right away. Yeah I was really a bit sick last week that's why I felt down and powerless. Complete rest and getting rid of worry is really a nice therapy to bounce back in life.

Now I like to do my job and be fast in my transactions again. This is the second day of the week since I go back to work from a 4-day-absent-turn-to-instant-leave. My inspiration to do my job has indeed came back. And just this afternoon, I received a surprise gift from God. Our HR handed me the document which states my salary adjustment. My salary increase is P3,300 a month! Wow! Lord God really? Thank you so much!

That was really a revelation to me from God. Lately, I've been so empty and I know the reason why. I haven't really visited the church for a month now, I realized it's been a while. And just last Sunday, I have received a very nice message from the gospel and homily from the priests- one in TV (Fr. Sobrejuanite in TV Mass Studio 23), and one in the church I attended (Nazareno Church). It was about having faith in God to rescue us in our lowest moments. It did really fit for me. I was thinking "yeah, where did those people came from when they arrive in the right place at a right time that we needed them most." I like the example of Fr. Sobrejuanite when one time he and 3 other sisters were stranded in a rural/remote area. His car ran out of gasoline (the gasoline indicator in the dashboard was not functioning that time). Not long after he looked up in the sky to ask God for help and think of what to do next, there were two guys who came out in the woods with chainsaw and a gallon of gasoline with them. He asked for help and indeed the men offered their gasoline. And that was really a very nice example of God sending help, they arrive very timely in the right place with the gasoline. A very good news for me and for all of us. God really help us in times of our need. There are so many instances I experience in my life -God sending help through the people around me in times of need. Everything indeed has a purpose. When you are hurt or down , happy, excited or mocked down, everything has a purpose and God is always there at our side.

This experience make me grateful to the things I received in life, and to be grateful to God. I also learned to change the way of my thinking. That is - not to expect anything. Just plain and simple. Truly, happiness comes from the most unexpected things. Thank you Lord.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

College: Best Days of My Life

I'm excited to see my college dorm again, and of curzzz, to see the little prayle Fr. Michel :) I'm missing the falls-hopping, mountain trekking, hiking, caving, camping and timoga like we do in college. I'm looking forward to relive those memories in joining the gathering. Will always be missing the company of the original sipat in the dorm during our time, (you know who you are) kay naa namo sa lagyong dapit ug nasud karon.. Much as I wanted to relive those memories but it will never be repeated. It will always remain as memories. But all the more, I wanted to experience a bit of that feeling again. Iligan City, a city of waterfalls, beaches and pools, here I come..

Monday, June 13, 2011

diary in handwriting vs. blogging

For me, nothing can beat writing diary through your hands than encoding it in the computer through blogs. there's a certain relief that you can feel in handwriting than encoding.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

1st day of class

Today is the first day of class in our small private institution. People are very busy and our president is freaking out. The chairs and classrooms and even some teachers not on place, students don't know what to do and where to go. But along with it, I just kept my cool, I spearheaded the orientation of the High School Dept.

My schedule for College Orientation is supposedly on last week of June but it was  changed into this week. I thought my proposed schedule will be approved but it was not. I will be cramming my head out.. Although I am not in favor on how some things will go through, it's still ok. I'm keeping my cool because I have no choice. : )

Friday, June 10, 2011

About My Page/Blogsite

If you find this page, you are one very lucky person. I don't really share this blog to everybody. I just left this like -this.. Just existing.. with me writing and expressing my feelings.

This is too personal for me. This contains emotions that I cannot express totally to my outside world to avoid complications. This is a venue to spill out overflowing emotions in me. Some of here maybe naive, sad, happy, angry, gloomy,excited, in-love, desperate, almost all emotions I can feel is poured here. This is a replacement of my diary.

You know why I choose to be not expressing all of my emotions to the ones I know around me? It's because sometimes if they know all of what you are feeling, everything is tight, to the feeling of you can't breathe, like the feeling of being choked. It's like a solution that is so concentrated or saturated. Another way of saying in tagalog : nakaka-sakal.

When you are going to spill it to the ones whom you don't know, it gives a venue for you to breathe, to get away from the concentrated solution, to dilute the social and emotional climate you are experiencing. Maybe that's why there is really a need for counselors and psychologists, because people like them are there to listen to you and be poured by your overflowing emotions, -with your secrets safe and in good hands because they are professionals and- you don't know them at all or at least they are outside of your tight social surrounding that could sometimes give you stress and difficulties. All you have with a counselor / psychologist is a professional relationship wherein you pay for their services for being there to listen to you and help you solve and be relieved of your little problem. Added to that, they are expert when it comes to that situation because they spent time studying about it. But here in the Philippines, it's a taboo to be referred to a counselor, all the more if it's a psychologist. People would think someone is already crazy. :)

The ironic thing is, my profession is a counselor. Yet I cling to my diaries for relief of the burdens I have inside and the things that bothers my mind. Now, I upgraded from my diaries to this blog. Diaries isn't handy. And if I wouldn't be too careful, it maybe read by my niece and cousins who  sometimes visit my room and cuddle with me. Nah, that was way too personal for them to read. Anyway if you could read this, I would feel it's okey because you don't even know me at all personally.

To write my emotions has been my best way of relieving the emotional turmoil that I sometimes have inside. Even though I'm a counselor, I am no perfect and I'm still the same as everybody else that has needs. I'm a normal person indeed, and writing to my diary which is now my blog site, is one of the things I enjoy.

Every person has always something to say about you, with different interpretations depending on their personality. It is beyond our control. I don't really share a lot about me especially the things I share here to the people around me except to those I have close encounters and I am comfortable sharing. I don't like a lot of complications in my life, which maybe the reason why I'm still single until now. But maybe it's okey, I have lived this kind of life since, and still haven't changed.

Welcome to my Diary Page.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

this day

This day is not for me.. I really don't have the motivation to work and everything seems so urgent. Oh God help me..